Praktikum/Thesis: Anschreiben im Bereich Analytics & Insights (Englisch)

[IchSuchePraktikum]

Hallo zusammen, es geht um eine Stelle im Bereich Marktforschung wo man herausfindet, was die Konsumenten möchten usw. Die Anforderungen lauten wie folgt:

"-You demonstrate excellent analytical and problem-solving skills, a drive for leadership, and a strong passion for consumer market research
-You work effectively with diverse groups of people by embracing creativity, innovation, and initiative.
-Strong leaders who can envision new "ways to win", set direction and enroll others;
-Creativity, innovation, initiative, follow-through, communication and priority-setting.
-You enjoy working with a variety of data sources. A statistical qualification is not required, but comfort with data analysis is essential."

Ich würde mich sehr über Feedback freuen, ob ich noch mehr Bezug zu der Stelle nehmen soll und inwiefern. Weil die meisten Anforderungen sind eher Soft Skills. Ich habe das Gefühl das Anschreiben ist etwas zu lang. Was kann eurer Meinung nach weg? Vielen Danke im Voraus!



Mein Anschreiben sieht aus wie folgt:

Dear Sir or Madam,

uncovering insights of the consumer on an empathetic way has always been my passion. Therefore, I want to take this opportunity and combine this internship with my Bachelor thesis to gain valuable experience at a leading XY company.

I am 3rd year Industrial Engineering student at university of applied science in XY. I have always been curious about humand-centred understanding of the consumer, which is why I pursued a business direction already at school. My strong desire to identify and understand consumers' needs allows me to be fully committed to the customers. For that reason, I want to explore what goes behind the scenes of finding out what a brand has to stand for to satisfy the market. Through my study I have held several roles in a team which provided me with the necessary skills to lead and communicate effectively. As a former team leader of a university consulting project, I understand the importance of teamwork and what it takes to enroll other teammates in order to achieve the goals.

Trough my Procurement Internship at XY I did not only explore the Environment of a big company, but I have learned to take responsibility and to make decisions by myself. Due to my activities in the field of PO Encumbrance I also gained experience in data analysis which will allow me to familiarize myself with a variety of data sources and to contribute to the growth of the A&I department in a short time.

I am aware of Company XY being awarded as one of the best employers for internships multiple times. Due to that I want to bring my analytical and leadership skills in a company with global opportunities that helps me to grow as person. Furthermore, I find the role as an intern in the A&I very appealing because of the chance to carry out diverse activities through the work in a multi-functional business team which includes multiple departments.

I will be available from end of February for 4-5 months. Of Course I am aiming for a long term working relationship after that. I look forward to get to know each other personally.

Best regards

[TheGuide]

uncovering insights of the consumer on an empathetic way has always been my passion.

Im Englischen mag das nicht so auffallen, wie im Deutschen, aber wirklich schon immer? Quasi seitdem du aus den Geburtskanal herausgeplumpst bist? Ich würde mir an der Stelle etwas Konkreteres wünschen.

at a leading XY company.

Grenzwertig zur Schleimerei hin.

I have always been curious about humand-centred understanding

S.o.

which is why I pursued a business direction already at school.

Ich verstehe zwar die Aussage, frage mich aber, ob das korrektes Englisch ist. (Das ist kein leiser Wink mit dem Zaunpfahl, ich weiß es wirklich nicht.

My strong desire to identify and understand consumers' needs allows me to be fully committed to the customers.

Ich würde den Satz so umformulieren, dass dir nichts erlaubt oder ermöglicht werden muss.

For that reason, I want to explore what goes behind the scenes of finding out what a brand has to stand for to satisfy the market. Through my study I have held several roles in a team which provided me with the necessary skills to lead and communicate effectively. As a former team leader of a university consulting project, I understand the importance of teamwork and what it takes to enroll other teammates in order to achieve the goals.

Of Course I am aiming for a long term working relationship after that.

I.d.R. plädiere ich immer dafür, konkreter zu formulieren. Hier würde ich allerdings ausnahmsweise weicher formulieren. Also dass du nach erfolgreich absolviertem Praktikum und erfolgreicher BA mit dem Unternehmen gerne über eine gemeinsame Zukunft nachdenken würdest.

[IchSuchePraktikum]

Vielen Dank für die Antwort!

Mich würde vor allem noch interessieren ob der Bezug zu der Stelle genügend hergestellt wurde deiner Meinung nach. Gerade was die Anforderungen angeht. Was die Aufgaben angeht so heißt es in der Beschreibung, dass ich mich mit folgenden Fragen auseinander setzen werde:

"-What should our brands stand for?
-Who are our target consumers?
-What is the right assortment, promotional strategy and media/trade investment?
-How do we best reach consumers & win with retailers?"

[TheGuide]

Vielen Dank für die Antwort!

Mich würde vor allem noch interessieren ob der Bezug zu der Stelle genügend hergestellt wurde deiner Meinung nach. Gerade was die Anforderungen angeht. Was die Aufgaben angeht so heißt es in der Beschreibung, dass ich mich mit folgenden Fragen auseinander setzen werde:

"-What should our brands stand for?
-Who are our target consumers?
-What is the right assortment, promotional strategy and media/trade investment?
-How do we best reach consumers & win with retailers?"

Was Betriebswirtschaft/Marketing anbelangt, bin ich der falsche Ansprechpartner, ich komme eher aus der Oberlehrer-Ecke, deshalb auch der Avatar. Ich glaube Punkt 2 klingt an, aber Punkt 1 - Identifizierung des Markenkerns - fehlt mir ein wenig. Punkt 3 und 4 verstehe ich zusammengefasst als „wie erreichen wir Kunden und Einzelhändler, reichen Werbeschaltungen aus oder müssen wir bei tiktok und in der Fußgängerzone aktiv werden?“, das wäre ja wahrscheinlich der wissenschaftliche Kern deiner BA, zu untersuchen, was von Kunden/Händlern wahrgenommen wird und zu Entscheidungen führt (Kaufentscheidung beim Kunden, Aufnahme ins Programm beim Händler). Aber da kann ich drüber schwafeln und du wirst dir sicher nach drei Sötzen an den Kopf packen und feststellen, dass „der Typ ja überhaupt keine Ahnung hat“. Stil, Rechtschreibung, inhärente Logik, das sind die Dinge, die ich beurteilen kann.

[IchSuchePraktikum]

Hi, ich würde mich über Feedback bzgl. Job Bezug, Ausdrucksweise, Rechtschreibung und ob etwas fehlt freuen. Vielen Dank im Voraus!

das Anschreiben:

"Dear Sir or Madam,

my excitement to learn from experts who have created globally recognized products has ignited my passion for pursuing an internship in Brand Management. With a desire to gain valuable experience in this field, I am willing to combine this internship with my Bachelor thesis.

Throughout my academic and practical experiences, I have developed a range of skills that I believe have prepared me well to be successful at this job. As a former team leader for a university consulting project, I was able to utilize my strengths in independent decision-making and inspire my team members to work collaboratively towards achieving our goals. Additionally, my creative and innovative ideas contributed to several workshops during my internship at XY. I also had the opportunity to make data-driven decisions in projects related to supplier reduction, which further developed my analytical and problem-solving skills.

Ever since secondary school, my interest in ensuring the long-term success of a product has driven me to pursue the economics field, which has enhanced my strong passion for Brand Management. Several marketing classes have equipped me with strong consumer-oriented capabilities, enabling me to fully commit to developing appropriate branding strategies. Driven by my will to have an impact, I want to use my background and to contribute to the success of your products.

I am aware of XZ being awarded as one of the best employers for internships multiple times. Due to that I want to bring my skills in a company with global opportunities that helps me to grow as person. Looking behind the scenes, learning the strategies behind your leading brands and contributing to their success is what makes this job so appealing to me.

I will be available from end of February for 5-6 months. Of course, I am aiming for a long-term working relationship after that. I look forward to get to know each other personally.

Best regards"

[TheGuide]

Das Englische an sich kann ich nicht beurteilen. Ich finde, dass du selbstbewusst auftrittst (gut!).

Der erste Absatz allerdings:

my excitement to learn from experts who have created globally recognized products has ignited my passion for pursuing an internship in Brand Management. With a desire to gain valuable experience in this field, I am willing to combine this internship with my Bachelor thesis.

Der ist mir zu lobhudelnd.