➡ Englische Bewerbung für Freiwilligendienst im Ausland

[it3st]

Hallo liebe Community!

Ich habe schon seit längerer Zeit vor, nach meinem Abitur, jetzt ein Jahr soziale Arbeit im Ausland folgen zu lassen. Da ich meine Fähigkeiten, Bewerbungen betreffend, aber eher für gering einschätze, wollte ich mir noch Feedback dazu holen.

Ich bewerbe mich bei der organisation AFS. Diese wünscht ein Motivationsschreiben in Englisch mit mindestes 3000 Zeichen Inhalt.
Selten so lange Texte in Englisch geschrieben. Ich hoffe ihr könnt mir vielleicht den ein oder anderen Tipp und Verbesserungsvorschlag geben.

Nun zum eigentlichen Text:

Hello dear reader,

already for a few years I got the plan to go spend a year abroad, after graduating from school 2016 with general qualification for university entrance I am able to finally go into the matter.

I could quite enjoy growing up in Germany in a calm and rural region but of course Im aware of my good circumstances and the high standard of living we have here in Germany. So I am convinced to give something back to society in the form of Long Term Volunteering. Frankly such programs are not only a wonderful opportunity to help at a local base, furthermore they present a great way to get to know other parts of the world and learn how the people manage life over there. Particular the cultural exchange in such programs is the major reason to me to go abroad, otherwise I could spend the year as volunteer in Germany. I want to meet different people, share our storys as well as knowledge and make expiriences live together as a group. Besides staying in a foreign country for a longer period of time offers a perfect possibility to get a better insight of the every day life, it helps to empathize with the people and enables to understand their piont of view better. I want to take part in this world as a global citizin therefore the Long Term Volunteering should be a great opportunity.

Since I identify myself as a close to nature person, who loves to spend a lot of time outdoors I assume working in one of your Environmental Projects would fit best for me. For example I take Animal Care as a good option. There one can learn a bunch of knowledge about animals in the wild, you get to see a lot of interesting things. It just benefits in many diffrent ways. Furthermore saving the planet gets more and more important, I want to participate at this big challenge our global community is facing and chase my dream to leave a small mark to convince other people too, to make this world a better place someday. So the next generation can enjoy the beauty of earth and nature as we know it today. Especially organic and sustainable agriculture are topics which interest me a lot and i would like to learn more about this. Thats simply due to monocultures I used to see growing up all around and of course all those big monocultures I learned about in school. To see this thing changing would really please me but moreover it would tremendously benefit our evironment. We have to clear the way for a new way of agriculture as well as forestry and stock breeding. The focus should be more on saving biodiversity and using it, for concepts which rely on nature as regulating factor, not on GMO's and perfect suiting fertilizer and pesticide sets. Also projects which include to build something, like proper sanitation for example, attract a lot of my attention. All in all Im a very practical guy thus I actually would like to do some practical work during the time Im abroad. In contrast to agriculture I already got small expirience in working on construction sides. To get creative, to put effort into the project and follow the progress until it is all done, are just my main motivations for this kind of work.

In summary I just would prefer to often work practical and stay a lot of the time outdoors. It would really please me, if you choose me to join your organization.

Yours sincerely

Edit: Ich hab den Text mal etwas korrigiert, wo mir fehler auffielen. Zu der Begrüßung noch vorweg, es wird ausdrücklich erwähnt man pflegt das Du, bin aber gerne offen für Verbesserungsvorschläge.




Danke für eure Hilfe! Hoffentlich könnt ihr mir helfen mein Wissen ausbauen, damit ich dann auch selbst mal andere dabei unterstützen kann!

[TheGuide]

Mein englisch ist nicht gut genug, um sicher korrekte Anregungen zu geben, aber ich sehe jede Menge grammtischer und orthograhischer Fehler.

[TheGuide]

Mein englisch ist nicht gut genug, um sicher korrekte Anregungen zu geben, aber ich sehe jede Menge grammtischer und orthograhischer Fehler.

[it3st]

Danke. Sollte besser sein mittlerweile. Nur was kommas angeht sicher nicht. Da bin ich selbst in Deutsch ne Niete

[schaumamol]

Hallo zusammen,



ich möchte gerne zwei Monate in einem Hostal in South Korea arbeiten und werde über die Oraganisation workaway.de eine Auswahl anschreiben.

Ich bin mir nicht sicher ob ich das Anschreiben auf Englisch so verfassen kann und bitte um Durchsicht bzw. Korrektur.
Ich denke ich muss mehr auf die einzelne ausgeschriebene Stelle eingehen.
Für jeden Hinweis bin ich froh und bedanke mich bereits in voraus.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to present myself for a volunteer service in your hostel. I am 48 years old and actualy i work until December as a mechanic I want to be part in your team because I am very interested for foreign cultures. I think it's very important and useful to know other people and I would like to do that. It's a pleasure for me to attend, to assist and to take care of others. That's why I decided to do a volunteer service. I would like to do it in south corea  because I am very interested in that country. I like to speak English and I want to improve my language. I am very motivated to start the volunteer service. I already gained experience through avolunteer job in mauretanien ( Africa). All in all, I would describe myself as a person with social skills because I am tolerant and empathetic. I am also trustworthy, friendly and helpful. In my opinion, cross-cultural learning is very important in our days to improve living together among each other.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

[katerfreitag]

Hallo schaumamol, ich werde meine Kommentare direkt in Deinen Text schreiben aber da Englisch nicht meine Muttersprache ist, sind da bestimmt noch mehr Verbesserungsmöglichkeiten.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to present myself for a volunteer service in your hostel. BIS HIERHIN OK.

I am 48 years old and actualy DA MEINST DU 'CURRENTLY'

i I SCHREIBT MAN IMMER UND ÜBERALL GROß

work until December as a mechanicPUNKT

I want to be part in your team because I am very interested

INTERESTED WIRD MIT 'IN' KONSTRUIERT.

for foreign cultures. I think it's very important and useful to know other people and I would like to do that. It's a pleasure for me to attend, to assist and to take care of others.

WOHER WEIßT DU DAS?

That's why I decided to do a volunteer service. I would like to do it in south corea  

LÄNDERNAMEN IMMER GROß SCHREIBEN.

because I am very interested in that country. I like to speak English and I want to improve my language

HINTER LANGUAGE FEHLT EIN 'SKILLS'. I am very motivated to start the volunteer service. I already gained experience through a

LEERZEICHEN volunteer job in mauretanien

HEIßT DAS NICHT MAURETANIA?

LANDERNAMEN IMMER GROß SCHREIBEN( Africa). All in all, I would describe myself as a person with social skills because I am tolerant and empathetic. I am also trustworthy, friendly and helpful.

WOHER WEIßT DU DAS?

In my opinion, cross-cultural learning is very important in our days to improve living together among each other.

WAS WILLST DU MIT DIESEM SATZ SAGEN?

Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Ich finde Deinen Text zu kurz und zu unkonkret. Gut finde ich, dass Du die meisten Sätze sehr kurz und einfach gehalten hast. Immer, wenn Du komplizierter schreibst, machst Du auch mehr Fehler. Was wären denn Deine Aufgaben im Hostel?
Du solltest mehr auf den Job eingehen und auf die Kenntnisse und Fähigkeiten, die Du dafür mitbringst.