also reicht es noch nicht, dass ich als zivi mit kindern zu tun hatte, ab und an babysitten war und eine kleine patentochter hab?
(der brief soll nicht länger als eine seite sein)
hat vielleicht noch jemand verbesserungen zur grammatik und zur sonstigen schreibweise?
würde mich über konstruktive kritik wirklich sehr freuen.
grüße aus berlin
➡ Aupair-Bewerbung fürs Ausland schreiben ✔
Deine Grammatik und Ausdruck sind gut, nicht perfekt, aber das muss es auch nicht sein. Du willst ja auch deine Sprachkenntnisse verbessern.
Das Problem bei dem Brief ist, dass du nur zwei oder drei Sätze schreibst, was du mit Kindern machst. Der Rest ist (sorry) Geschwafel über dich. Sicherlich wollen die Hosties dich kennen lernen, aber die wollen dann auch wissen, welche Erfahrung du hast und wie du das rüberbringst. Was hast du denn beim Babysitten gemacht? Du wirst ja nicht nur rumgesessen haben.
Natürlich hast du mit den Kleinen gespielt, ihr habt gepuzzelt oder seid draußen rumgetobt. Dann hast du auch dafür gesorgt, dass sie zwischendurch einen Snack bekommen oder du hast für sie Abendessen hergerichtet und dann beim Bettfertigmachen geholfen. Als der kleine Timmie dann beim Vorlesen der Gute-Nacht-Geschichte eingeschlafen ist und ganz friedlich da lag, war für dich klar, dass du unbedingt weiterhin was mit Kindern machen möchstest und hast dich deshalb zum AuPair-Jahr entschlossen.
So was fehlt bei dir noch. Man spürt nicht die Begeisterung, und man kann gar nicht sehen, wie gut mit den Kindern kannst.
Das Problem bei dem Brief ist, dass du nur zwei oder drei Sätze schreibst, was du mit Kindern machst. Der Rest ist (sorry) Geschwafel über dich. Sicherlich wollen die Hosties dich kennen lernen, aber die wollen dann auch wissen, welche Erfahrung du hast und wie du das rüberbringst. Was hast du denn beim Babysitten gemacht? Du wirst ja nicht nur rumgesessen haben.
Natürlich hast du mit den Kleinen gespielt, ihr habt gepuzzelt oder seid draußen rumgetobt. Dann hast du auch dafür gesorgt, dass sie zwischendurch einen Snack bekommen oder du hast für sie Abendessen hergerichtet und dann beim Bettfertigmachen geholfen. Als der kleine Timmie dann beim Vorlesen der Gute-Nacht-Geschichte eingeschlafen ist und ganz friedlich da lag, war für dich klar, dass du unbedingt weiterhin was mit Kindern machen möchstest und hast dich deshalb zum AuPair-Jahr entschlossen.
So was fehlt bei dir noch. Man spürt nicht die Begeisterung, und man kann gar nicht sehen, wie gut mit den Kindern kannst.
Bewerbung Au Pair, Korrekturlesen
Könnte diesen Text jemand Korrekturlesen? Ich bin auch jedezeit für Verbesserungsvorschläge in Sachen Ausdruck offen 
)
Dear host family,
My name is Maria, but most people call me Mimi. I'm from Austria, Wiener Neustadt, wich is near Vienna.
I live with my mom and dad, I have two older brothers and a older sister, who are all living on their own. My brothers are both married and are currently living in Villach with their familiy. They have kids who are 9, 6 and 5 years old. I'm taking care for them very often. My sister is studying at the moment. She wants to become a secondary modern school teacher.
At the moment I'm doing my high school graduation. So there is much to learn.
Which is why I'm really happy,when I see my nephews and niece. I meet them every Saturday, sometimes also on Sundays. We have much fun togheter. Sometimes I'm helping them with their homework, but most of the time we are outside, playing hide and seek or tag.
Also they love to dress up or paint and since I'm going to an art school, that's very relaxing for me
When the sun is shining I love to go for a walk with our dog. I love to be outside, especially with kids. Collecting stones, meet other children at the playground, building sandcastles or play soccer.
I love kids, their easy way is fascinating me the most. To be there for the them, to help them, to assist them is so exciting and a very fulfilling task. The noise of a laughing and giggling child is something wonderful.
I'm really looking forward to meet you and spend some exciting months with you.
I hope I made you curious about me. If so, I would be glad if you get in touch.
With many kind greetings, especially for to the children.
Mimi
)Dear host family,
My name is Maria, but most people call me Mimi. I'm from Austria, Wiener Neustadt, wich is near Vienna.
I live with my mom and dad, I have two older brothers and a older sister, who are all living on their own. My brothers are both married and are currently living in Villach with their familiy. They have kids who are 9, 6 and 5 years old. I'm taking care for them very often. My sister is studying at the moment. She wants to become a secondary modern school teacher.
At the moment I'm doing my high school graduation. So there is much to learn.
Which is why I'm really happy,when I see my nephews and niece. I meet them every Saturday, sometimes also on Sundays. We have much fun togheter. Sometimes I'm helping them with their homework, but most of the time we are outside, playing hide and seek or tag.
Also they love to dress up or paint and since I'm going to an art school, that's very relaxing for me
When the sun is shining I love to go for a walk with our dog. I love to be outside, especially with kids. Collecting stones, meet other children at the playground, building sandcastles or play soccer.
I love kids, their easy way is fascinating me the most. To be there for the them, to help them, to assist them is so exciting and a very fulfilling task. The noise of a laughing and giggling child is something wonderful.
I'm really looking forward to meet you and spend some exciting months with you.
I hope I made you curious about me. If so, I would be glad if you get in touch.
With many kind greetings, especially for to the children.
Mimi
-
Klassekassel1
- Beiträge: 19
- Registriert: 15.04.2013, 23:49
Hier mein verbesserter Brief:
PS: Bei den eingeklammerten Sachen kannst du selbst entscheiden ob du sie verwendest.
Dear host family,
My name is Maria, but most people call me Mimi. I live with my parents in (the town) "Wiener Neustadt", wich is located near Vienna in Austria.
I have two older brothers and one older sister. They are living on their own. My brothers are both married and are currently living in Villach with their own families. They have kids who are 9, 6 and 5 years old. I'm taking care for them very often. My sister is studying at the moment. She wants to become a secondary modern school teacher.
At the moment I'm doing my high school graduation. So there is much to learn. Smilie
That is the reason why I'm really happy, when I can see my nephews and niece. I meet them every Saturday, sometimes also on Sundays. We have much fun togheter. Sometimes I'm helping them with their homework, but most of the time we are outside, playing hide and seek or tag.
Also they love to dress up or paint and since I'm going to an art school, that's very relaxing for me Smilie ??? (was soll das heißen)
When the sun is shining I love to go for a walk with our dog. I love to be outside with kids too. Collecting stones, meet other children at the playground, building sandcastles or play soccer. ??? (was soll das heißen)
I love kids very much. Their easy way to live is the most fascinating thing by them. To be there for the them, to help them and to assist them is so exciting and a very fulfilling task. The noise of a laughing and giggling child is something wonderful.
I'm really looking forward to meet you and spend some exciting months with you.
I hope I made you curious about me. If so, I would be glad if you get in touch.
With many kind greetings, especially for to the children.
Mimi
PS: Bei den eingeklammerten Sachen kannst du selbst entscheiden ob du sie verwendest.
Dear host family,
My name is Maria, but most people call me Mimi. I live with my parents in (the town) "Wiener Neustadt", wich is located near Vienna in Austria.
I have two older brothers and one older sister. They are living on their own. My brothers are both married and are currently living in Villach with their own families. They have kids who are 9, 6 and 5 years old. I'm taking care for them very often. My sister is studying at the moment. She wants to become a secondary modern school teacher.
At the moment I'm doing my high school graduation. So there is much to learn. Smilie
That is the reason why I'm really happy, when I can see my nephews and niece. I meet them every Saturday, sometimes also on Sundays. We have much fun togheter. Sometimes I'm helping them with their homework, but most of the time we are outside, playing hide and seek or tag.
Also they love to dress up or paint and since I'm going to an art school, that's very relaxing for me Smilie ??? (was soll das heißen)
When the sun is shining I love to go for a walk with our dog. I love to be outside with kids too. Collecting stones, meet other children at the playground, building sandcastles or play soccer. ??? (was soll das heißen)
I love kids very much. Their easy way to live is the most fascinating thing by them. To be there for the them, to help them and to assist them is so exciting and a very fulfilling task. The noise of a laughing and giggling child is something wonderful.
I'm really looking forward to meet you and spend some exciting months with you.
I hope I made you curious about me. If so, I would be glad if you get in touch.
With many kind greetings, especially for to the children.
Mimi
Englischer Brief an die Gastfamilie
Dear Host Family,
my name is Oliver I was born on the 2nd of January, 1994 in Germany. Me and my family live in Bottrop, Bottrop is a small town in the west of Germany.
I am living at home with my parents Sylvia and Gerhard and our pets Charly (dog) and Tigger (cat). My three siblings, Dennis (30 years), Sarah (28 years) and Carina (23 years) live all on their own somewhere else. I often spent four or more weeks on my own, when my parents went on holidays. In this time i take care of the whole household and the pets. I really love my family and I´m really happy when i can see my siblings after some time. I´m also really happy about their support on my way to become an Au Pair.
But I also want to tell you a bit more about me and my person.
As I already said, my name is Oliver and I´m 20 years old. I´m a person which is receptive to new experience. I really like to travel and see more of the world. I often take care of my little 3 year old cousin. We often go outside and play ball or go to the playground. Sometimes when the weather is good I go into the zoo with him show resp. tell him something about the different animals. When I have some free time i go visit the kindergarten where i did my internship. My hobbys are reading, diving, kitesurfing (no time for it any more), meet my friends and play on my guitar, I´m playing guitar since 2 years now. And i love my beanie I wear it whenever i can.
The reasons for me why I want to become your Au Pair: first of all because i love to work with children, I try to spent as much time as i can with my little cousin or with the kids in the kindergarten. I also want to learn more about you and your customs, the culture of Australia and see as much as I can of Australia. I want to refine myself and became more independent.
Now I want to tell you something about the experience with children.
In my internship in the hospital I normally looked after adult patients, but quite often we also had children in the age from 5-14 in our station who have an fracture. Here i learned how I need to talk with children and can reassure them when they were scared.
After this internship I knew I want to work with children, so I go for five month internship in the kindergarten. After a few days i have settled down and I loved the every day life in the kindergarten. I have taken the children into my heart really fast and I loved them like my own sibblings.
In this internship i learned how to work with children I learned a lot about educational measures, I learned something about the nursing care of children, a lot about householding activities like wash the dishes wash clothes of the children and of course how to take care of children and how to employ the children. I learned how to explain the children something in an applicable speech. I really enjoyed to play with the Children outside and go sled in winter a playing with water in summer. We often go for a walk through the nature. In my internship I did an first aid curse where we also talk about how to provide babies and children.
In my free time I took care of the child from friends one day a week. When I started to babysit him, we often stay inside and play with his toys or draw something. But after a while we go more and more outside to the playground or walk through the nature as i learned in the kindergarten. I could apply a lot of things I learned in the kindergarten when I babysit him, I knew how to explain him something when he had questions for example.
I hope u got an good impression of me and if you are looking for an reliable and motivated Au Pair to take care of your children I would be happy if you choose me as your Au Pair. I would be really happy to hear from you soon.
yours sincerely
Oliver
Ich wäre euch sehr verbunden wenn ihr mal drüber schauen könnt und mir verbesserungsvorschläge geben könntet =)
LG
Olli
my name is Oliver I was born on the 2nd of January, 1994 in Germany. Me and my family live in Bottrop, Bottrop is a small town in the west of Germany.
I am living at home with my parents Sylvia and Gerhard and our pets Charly (dog) and Tigger (cat). My three siblings, Dennis (30 years), Sarah (28 years) and Carina (23 years) live all on their own somewhere else. I often spent four or more weeks on my own, when my parents went on holidays. In this time i take care of the whole household and the pets. I really love my family and I´m really happy when i can see my siblings after some time. I´m also really happy about their support on my way to become an Au Pair.
But I also want to tell you a bit more about me and my person.
As I already said, my name is Oliver and I´m 20 years old. I´m a person which is receptive to new experience. I really like to travel and see more of the world. I often take care of my little 3 year old cousin. We often go outside and play ball or go to the playground. Sometimes when the weather is good I go into the zoo with him show resp. tell him something about the different animals. When I have some free time i go visit the kindergarten where i did my internship. My hobbys are reading, diving, kitesurfing (no time for it any more), meet my friends and play on my guitar, I´m playing guitar since 2 years now. And i love my beanie I wear it whenever i can.
The reasons for me why I want to become your Au Pair: first of all because i love to work with children, I try to spent as much time as i can with my little cousin or with the kids in the kindergarten. I also want to learn more about you and your customs, the culture of Australia and see as much as I can of Australia. I want to refine myself and became more independent.
Now I want to tell you something about the experience with children.
In my internship in the hospital I normally looked after adult patients, but quite often we also had children in the age from 5-14 in our station who have an fracture. Here i learned how I need to talk with children and can reassure them when they were scared.
After this internship I knew I want to work with children, so I go for five month internship in the kindergarten. After a few days i have settled down and I loved the every day life in the kindergarten. I have taken the children into my heart really fast and I loved them like my own sibblings.
In this internship i learned how to work with children I learned a lot about educational measures, I learned something about the nursing care of children, a lot about householding activities like wash the dishes wash clothes of the children and of course how to take care of children and how to employ the children. I learned how to explain the children something in an applicable speech. I really enjoyed to play with the Children outside and go sled in winter a playing with water in summer. We often go for a walk through the nature. In my internship I did an first aid curse where we also talk about how to provide babies and children.
In my free time I took care of the child from friends one day a week. When I started to babysit him, we often stay inside and play with his toys or draw something. But after a while we go more and more outside to the playground or walk through the nature as i learned in the kindergarten. I could apply a lot of things I learned in the kindergarten when I babysit him, I knew how to explain him something when he had questions for example.
I hope u got an good impression of me and if you are looking for an reliable and motivated Au Pair to take care of your children I would be happy if you choose me as your Au Pair. I would be really happy to hear from you soon.
yours sincerely
Oliver
Ich wäre euch sehr verbunden wenn ihr mal drüber schauen könnt und mir verbesserungsvorschläge geben könntet =)
LG
Olli